no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
