Is it because I queefed?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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