so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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