Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
