You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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