just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
