come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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