Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
