Welp...herpes.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
