So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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