think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Mom said you looked used
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
