Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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