i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
