Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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