i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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