wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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