I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
