I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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