after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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