The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
