I wish I only lived at night.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
bring money and cleavage
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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