What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
