So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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