1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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