we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
