I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
honey bunches of taint.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
