8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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