he shaved USA in his pubs
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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