Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
