im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
