yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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