Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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