if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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