i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
