is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I could fuck to npr.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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