i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
