Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
