She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
