took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
