pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
