Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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