So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
