Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
