who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
