Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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