I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
