Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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