Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
