I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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