After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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