your thong is hanging out like whoa
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
